FBI tries to convince public that it is dealing with serious crime seriously

February 28, 2024

Don't fight crime, fight organized crime

The FBI spends a lot of time and (your) money protecting you from crime, and criminals.

If you’re a storekeeper, and especially if you own a store selling relatively expensive items, you’ll be pleased to know that one of the areas of crime the FBI focuses on is “Organized Retail Theft" (ORT).

Organized Retail Theft (ORT), also known as Organized Retail Crime (ORC), is the large-scale theft of retail merchandise with the intent to resell the stolen items for financial gain. ORT may involve a criminal enterprise that employs a group of individuals to steal large quantities of merchandise from multiple stores. These ORT groups maintain or utilize fencing operations to convert the stolen goods into cash.

The FBI also recognizes other types of shoplifting, which it defines as “Smash and Grab” and “Flash Mob or Flash Rob.” According to them, “Flash robs usually target high-end stores.”

The implication is that while ORT is theft for resale, mobs of thieves only grab the items they want for themselves and therefore the phenomenon is less serious, which is why the FBI describes the impact of ORT but doesn’t bother to do the same for other types of shoplifting.

You didn't know why prices are higher? Duh, it's organized crime

According to the FBI, ORT leads to:

Higher prices for American consumers and less tax revenue for state and local governments
Closing of retail businesses, loss of jobs, and food/pharmaceutical deserts
Health and food safety [sic.]
Stolen food products, pharmaceuticals, and other consumable goods that are not maintained under proper conditions or labeled properly (which may make goods ineffective or make people ill) can make their way back to unsuspecting consumers
Violence associated with ORT makes retail establishments less safe for consumers

Flash mobs, on the other hand…

If you’re a storekeeper who has merely been affected by disorganized shoplifters, however, “Flash Mob and Flash Rob” only lead to:

Higher prices for American consumers and less tax revenue for state and local governments (note to FBI: If your stock is being stolen, you will need to recoup your losses somehow)
Closing of retail businesses, loss of jobs, and food/pharmaceutical deserts (note to FBI: storekeepers targeted by flash mobs just give up after a while, and move out)
Health and food safety (sorry, that one was a mistake)
Higher insurance premiums, plus the expense of installing extra security measures
Damage to your store by flash mob vandals who destroy store furnishings before leaving with their loot
Having to lock everything in your store behind glass or plastic, and then having to open display windows each time a customer wants something
Difficulty in recruiting staff due to their fears of mobs descending upon them
Fear for your personal safety and even your life

Racial profiling, FBI-style

Another key difference between ORT and flash mobs is that ORT can take place anywhere, whereas the formation of a flash mob requires a high-density inner city environment. Maybe that's why the FBI's tweet on ORT features a picture that seems to have been snapped in an upscale mall.

That doesn't explain, however, why the FBI had to go all the way to Serbia (figuratively speaking) to find a 2017 (stock) picture to illustrate this serious American phenomenon (when they surely have reams of surveillance footage showing genuine criminals). Perhaps they just wanted to provide a helpful hint to storekeepers who previously had no idea who to look out for:

Storekeepers in urban areas, however, might justifiably feel that the FBI is paying no attention to the type of shoplifting they are dealing with. Maybe they're looking at things the wrong way:

Domestic terror?

And now for something completely unrelated: The FBI is also busy catching terrorists.

The latest “Terrorism News” on its website has a list of its latest activities in this area: