Back to Center: I was an approval-seeking people-pleaser
The purpose of the “Back to Center” advice column is to provide perspectives for personal realignment and empowered living in the COVID era. Sarah encourages you to reach out to her with requests for advice about self-development and emotional and mental well-being in these complicated times. Please send your questions to advice@aflds.org. Looking forward to hearing from you!
For all other inquiries, please direct your questions to info@aflds.org.
I’m really struggling when it comes to what I should do about my children’s education these days. We are a Christian family with traditional values but send our kids to public school because there are no Christian school options in our area. I’m becoming increasingly concerned by the woke agenda I see coming through in the school’s curriculum; it feels like the school is pressing it with more and more intensity as time goes on. I know this is happening on a large scale around the country and in other parts of the world. I really long to send our children to a good Christian school where they will be taught biblical values. And I see how some Christian schools are being persecuted for sticking to their values and feel like we have a responsibility to stand with our people. But that would mean changing our whole lives – moving to a new area, my husband and I finding new jobs, making new friends…it would really change everything. But maybe it’s worth it for the sake of our kids…Any advice?
Thank you for your question. I agree – it is alarming to see the intensity with which “wokeness” is being promoted, and of course, most upsetting when it comes to what our children are being exposed to. You are facing some big decisions here. Let’s look at a few different perspectives on your situation.
Let’s say you decide to make the necessary life changes so your kids can attend a school you and your husband feel good about. Imagine for a moment what that might be like. How would having that school in place for your children make you feel? How would those feelings impact the other areas of your life? What would be the overall effect on the life of your family? Make notes about what comes up for you when you visualize this new way of life.
Now, take a look at your life as it is currently. If you decide to continue on with your kids in public school and not make any changes, what feelings come up for you about that? Write down your findings from this visualization as well.
Focus in specifically on the feelings that come up for you in both scenarios. It’s so easy to overthink all the details and logistics in situations like this. But when you home in on what you’re feeling – and on what you want to feel – that connects you directly to what it is you really want. What do you want most in this situation?
On a slightly different note: What I’m going to say didn’t come up in your question, but it seems worth mentioning here. Have you considered homeschooling? If you really want to have more control and input in what your children are learning and ensure that they’re being taught biblical values, that could possibly come from you rather than a school. It would of course be a big change but would minimize the need for change in other areas; your lives wouldn’t have to be totally uprooted in order to get the kind of education you want for your kids. It might be worth some consideration.
Whatever you decide, I hope that it will bring you and your family joy and peace of mind. All the best!
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Recently I’ve been trying to work on making some changes within myself, but I’m feeling a bit stuck. I really want to be a kinder person, more patient, more open to and less ruffled by perspectives that are different from my own…but it’s SO HARD!! Any time I get into a conversation with someone with a different opinion (like someone who believes we all should have gotten the COVID vaccine) or read something from a perspective I don’t agree with, I feel the anger rise up in me so quickly. It feels like I’m standing in a boat on the water, and every time a wave comes, I get knocked off balance and fall over. How do I change?
This desire you have to live with more kindness, openness, and equanimity is so beautiful! I really commend you on your self-awareness and efforts to rise to a new level of who you can be!
I love your boat metaphor. These times really can feel like being out on a choppy ocean with waves that just keep coming. It sounds to me like what you’re looking for is the ability to sit down in the boat – to recognize that you don’t have to struggle to keep your balance while standing when you could simply sit and ride the waves with much more ease. Sitting is also more relaxing in general – you can recline, breathe, unwind, take in the view, really pause and consider. When I read your words, this is the feeling I hear you’re looking for. Let’s explore what this might look like practically for you.
When you encounter a person or situation that makes you start to see red, see if you can pause and just breathe for a minute. Take a time out from thinking about what’s going on, and just breathe. That will instantly help bring you into a calmer state of mind.
Then, either in the moment or afterward when you can, ask yourself, “Why does this bother me so much?” What is it about hearing something from a different perspective that gets you so riled up? What does it mean to you to have your perspective challenged? Anger is often a cover-up for something deeper going on. There might be a fear or belief about yourself or the world hiding underneath that anger. See if you can peel back the layers and find out what is really going on for you at the heart of it.
When you know the answer(s) to the “Why?” question, you’ll know what you’re really dealing with. For example: Imagine that I get angry at my husband every time he gets sick. Am I really angry about him being sick? No, of course not. Everybody gets sick sometimes, and it’s something that is totally out of his control. But if I look underneath my anger, I might find fears about how much I think I’ll have to handle on my own until he gets better – taking care of the kids, the cooking, the cleaning, not to mention my work…It feels like so much! Will I be able to handle it all?? From my fear – which at the core is really about my own abilities – I react in anger toward my husband, even though it really has nothing to do with him.
Try to take the focus off of the people or media outlets you feel angry with and focus in on what’s going on for you. When you know what it is, what you need to do to help yourself live in a space that’s kinder, calmer, and more patient will become clearer to you. With my example above, once I know that what I’m really feeling upset about is the work load I have to handle on my own, I might choose to reach out to ask for help from a friend or neighbor until my husband gets better. Then, I don’t feel so angry anymore, because I treated the root cause of the anger – my fear – by getting some support. What could this look like for you?
Know that it is possible to be the kind of person you want to be! I wish you the best as you work to uncover your fears and release your anger.
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I saw a prediction the other day that made my heart leap into my throat. It was a doctor who said the vaccinated may only live two to five years. Can this be possible?? That everyone who chose to take the COVID vaccine will be gone in five years?? I didn’t take it myself, but I know SO many people who did – friends, family, coworkers…and beyond the people I know, it’s terrifying to think about the enormous impact this could have around the globe. That’s so many people. Feeling panicky…
Thank you for sharing your worries. Let’s just take a step back for a moment and breathe. Whenever we feel panicky, that’s the best first step – to pause and take some slow, deep breaths.
Okay, let’s go into your fears here. Yes, the prediction you heard is certainly an alarming one. But let’s remember that it is a prediction only; it isn’t fact or reality at this point. We see people make predictions about all kinds of things; sometimes they turn out to be true, and other times, we see that they have no connection with what really ends up happening. This doctor may be very well educated and informed, but at the end of the day, he’s a human being like the rest of us, and does not – cannot – know the future with certainty.
Whenever a strong worry comes up within us, a good question to ask ourselves is, “Do I have any control over this?” If there is something you can do about it, great; then the worry is useful. For example, if you’re worried about whether you’ll be able to pay all your bills, that worry can motivate you to get into action to find a different job, or more work, so that you’ll have the income you need. But if the object of your worry is something you don’t have any control over, it doesn’t serve you in any way to hold onto it. That’s how I see this worry you are expressing; what happens to those who have taken the vaccine is completely out of your hands.
So, what to do with this kind of worry? Anytime that fear comes up in you, I encourage you to practice releasing it in some way. It can be very powerful to visualize yourself dropping it, as if it’s a ball you’re holding in your hand. You can also imagine putting it inside a bubble, gently pushing it away from you, and watching it float toward the horizon until you can’t see it anymore. Do this as many times as you need to, until it becomes an automatic response to that fear.
Another perspective that might be helpful is to let this fear remind you that we’re all mortal. All of us, regardless of the decisions we’ve made, have a limited amount of time in this life, and none of us knows exactly how long we’ll be around. So, how do you want to live now? How do you want to use your one and only life? How do you want to show your love to the friends and family you’re worried about? What kind of difference do you want to make in this world?
I hope you will find peace of mind as you work to release the things you can’t control and take ownership of what you can – how you choose to live every day of this amazing, precious life. All the best!
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I have kind of a different question than the ones I think you usually get. So, for most of my life, I’ve really been a people-pleaser. I’ve made a lot of decisions based on how I thought they would look to others, whether they would accept and approve of me. This has even extended to things I would say to people - even if I didn’t believe what I was saying - and how I would dress.
But a crazy thing has happened to me these past few years. When all the COVID stuff came around, and I saw the mandates and how people were starting to get the vaccine, I heard a loud voice inside me saying, “NO!” It’s hard to really put the power of the experience into words, but basically, I came to this understanding that this was an instance in which I could not conform, could not say “yes” to make others happy this time. It woke something up inside me in a dramatic way, very quickly. It was such a brand-new feeling for me. Since then, I’ve been on a journey of self-discovery that, while not always easy, has been thrilling. I’d be interested to hear your perspective on all this, and where else you think I can take this new me!
Wow, this is amazing!! What a powerful story. It sounds like you feel a whole new lease on life, and that the sky’s the limit! I’d love to share a few thoughts on this.
It sounds to me like COVID helped you to meet yourself for the first time. The COVID experience has been so big and dramatic itself, that it’s as if it shook something awake within you that is authentically you, and not about anyone else. When you said no to what we were all being told to do, you chose yourself – and this is cause for an enormous celebration! It could have been so easy for you to continue on that same trajectory of people-pleasing: “Yes, whatever you say, whatever you think is best…” – and I know so many people who did just that. But when you heard that voice, you didn’t ignore it; you listened and changed your life! Take time to witness this for yourself because it is massive!
I love your question about where to take this new, exciting discovery next. In the spirit of learning to follow your own inner voice, I’m actually going to turn it back to you: Where do you want to go? What do you feel within you that wants to be expressed after having been pushed down for so long?
As a way to bring all of this out with more clarity, I encourage you to do a little visualization. Find some time and space where you can get very quiet with yourself and start to imagine your ideal self five years from now. Who are you? What do you look like? How do you speak and interact with others? How do you use your time? What are your strongest qualities? What do you say “yes” to? What do you say “no” to? What kind of life have you created for yourself? What does it feel like to be fully yourself?
Whatever you’re able to visualize, take time to write down for yourself afterward. It’s okay if not all of the details are clear; just take what comes to you. Then ask yourself, “How do I need to start living now in order to be that person in five years? What decisions and changes do I need to make?” And remember, this is all for and about you, and no one else. This is not about conforming to anyone else’s expectations (you’re done with that, remember?). Your answers have to feel right to you; if they don’t, keep trying to find the ones that do.
Thank you for sharing your inspiring story! I think you’re on one of the most exciting journeys we can take in life – the journey of discovering who we really are. May you find yourself fully!
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Up until the last few years, I was a believer in having my children be vaccinated with all the standard childhood vaccines. It was the “normal” thing to do as part of your children’s healthcare routine, and so we did it. But now, after what we’ve seen go on with the COVID vaccine over the past few years, I’m seeing the medical establishment in a whole new light. I really thought I could trust what the doctors were telling me to do, but now that has been thrown into question in a huge way. I don’t know what or who I can trust anymore. However, the idea of stopping the “standard” vaccines for my kids also feels uncomfortable, I guess because the belief that they need them in order to be healthy has been so ingrained in me. What if they become seriously ill at some point because they weren’t vaccinated? I’m not sure what to do…
Thank you for your question. Yes, it’s no simple thing to have your world turned upside down, where things you always thought were right suddenly feel questionable. It can really shake up your sense of stability and direction, and leave you with a feeling of “Where do I turn to now?”
While I’m not able to give you medical advice, I hope I can help you think through the decisions you’re facing and gain a new perspective on the situation.
The first thing I want to share with you is that that feeling of not knowing who to trust is not necessarily a bad thing. Sure, when you had more faith in your doctors, it probably felt easy and convenient – they told you what to do to take care of your family, and you did it. There wasn’t a lot of extra thought required, because they were the “experts”, and you could put the decisions in their hands.
But now, you’ve been thrust into a position where you do need to think about these things – about what is actually behind the advice of doctors, what is actually good for your family and what is not. And it seems like you’ve realized that you have a choice in all this. You do not have to do what the doctor says just because he or she says so. This may all feel really uncomfortable, but what it means is that you now have the opportunity to take the responsibility for the health of your family back into your own hands. This is a good thing.
So now, you’ve got some work to do. Look at different resources that speak both for and against vaccines. Try to talk to a variety of people, from traditional medical doctors to more natural health care providers, to fellow parents who have chosen both for and against vaccines for their children. Find out how vaccines really work, along with the benefits and risks. Do your due diligence and see what resonates with you.
What I’m trying to impress upon you here is that you can do this. It can be scary to suddenly realize you don’t know what to believe, but it can also be an incredible opportunity for self-empowerment and personal responsibility. If you really do the work to figure out what you think is best, then you will be able to make these decisions with confidence because you’ve owned the process fully.
I wish you energy, confidence, and clarity as you move forward!
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As I witness the downward slide of American culture – namely the skewing of gender definitions and the demonization of the traditional family and traditional religion – I am left feeling helpless and hopeless. I really want to help make a positive difference in our country, to help turn things around, but it all feels so big and overwhelming. Where could I possibly begin?
Thank you for writing in. This is a beautiful desire you have within you: to get into action and bring some light to the darkness!
When we look at the culture war that’s taking place in America, as well as other places in the world, it really can feel like the forces that are at play are massive. At the same time, we can see many instances throughout history where one person or a small group of people went up against the powers that be, or against a widespread idea – they spoke out, they stood up, they refused to give in – and it made a difference. It brought other people to the cause, or it helped to turn the tide of ideas. Think Rosa Parks. Her refusal to give up her seat on the bus – a simple yet incredibly brave act – inspires many of us still to this day. Thanks to her example, the black community was inspired to boycott the buses in Montgomery, AL for over a year, and along with the efforts of others in the civil rights movement, bus segregation was eventually ruled unconstitutional.
That’s just one of many examples we could look at, but basically what it boils down to is: massive change can begin with one person, and it can begin right where that one person is. You don’t have to change the entire country; start with your family. Then move on to your neighborhood and your community. It’s so easy for us to stop ourselves from doing anything because we think we have to do everything. That kind of all or nothing mentality is the surest road to inaction. All that’s required of each of us is to figure out what part we can play in the bigger picture, and then do it to the best of our ability.
So, what could you do, right where you are? What is it that you want to say, or organize, or help put into motion? It doesn’t have to be perfect or fancy – just authentic, straight from the thoughts and feelings already going on within you. If you like, see if you can find others nearby who feel as you do, and work together to create something. There are so many others who also feel there’s something wrong with America these days. The more you can connect with others around these issues, the more encouraged I think you’ll feel.
May you have the courage to act on your convictions! You can do this. Maybe we’ll read about you in the history books someday…
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With sadness I share the following story. The religious leader of my community was very vocal in promoting the COVID vaccine. He assured us it was safe and effective for all, and it was our spiritual responsibility to take it in order to protect our own lives and the lives of those around us. Many members of our community listened and got the shot, including me and my family. But now, as more information comes out about how the vaccine is not as safe as it seemed, and people are losing their lives or becoming injured from it, we feel completely lost. We trusted our leader; we listened to him. We looked to him for wisdom in this as we do for many matters…and it turns out he was wrong, that he was apparently just repeating what the government was saying. But the worst part is, he won’t even talk about it now. I and other community members have tried to ask him questions about it, and he completely evades the topic. Feelings of abandonment and betrayal are running high. How do we deal with this?
I’m so sorry to hear about what you and your community are going through. It’s a very difficult thing to lose faith in a respected leader, someone you looked up to for guidance and direction. Not only did something go awry with the advice he was willing to give about the vaccine; now his refusal to talk about it sounds especially painful.
While your leader’s acknowledgment of his mistakes would probably feel healing on some level, there’s no telling if that will happen or not; it’s out of your hands. So, what kind of healing from this experience is within your control? How could you and other community members who feel similarly betrayed help support each other as you work through this? Are there other leaders or mentors outside of this situation that you might look to for support and guidance?
Apart from community support, I would encourage you to see what you can do for yourself to bring healing to your pain. You might try writing a letter to this leader – not necessarily to send to him, but for your own benefit – in which you pour out all of your thoughts and feelings about the situation. Don’t hold back; unleash all of your anger, hurt, confusion, indignation, sadness, and desire for support. Giving yourself a chance to express everything that’s going on inside in an uncensored way can be extremely healing.
When the emotions are not so raw, you also might do some thinking or writing about what you want to learn from this situation. What do you want to take with you from this painful experience to hopefully help you in the future? You may want to consider the place you give leaders in your life, what kind of personal responsibility you want to take for gathering your information when it comes to important decisions, and so on. How can you turn this pain into something more positive for the future?
We all want leaders we can respect, trust, and gain real help from. We want them to live up to the honor we give them. When they make mistakes (as they will sometimes because they are human), or at worst, fail terribly, it really hurts. The question now is: what do you and your community want to build going forward? How can you take this painful experience and emerge from it stronger and more connected?
I wish you deep healing and strength for the journey.
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I feel very alone these days. I am the only one in my family and among my friends who sees the lies around COVID, the liberal agenda, and globalism. Any time I mention my thoughts, my family and friends say it’s all conspiracy theories, and basically shut me down. It’s so hard to feel that I don’t have anyone in my life whom I can talk to about these things, and it hurts that the people closest to me don’t make any effort to understand or respect where I’m coming from. But I can’t close my eyes to what I see going on. Feeling lonely and misunderstood…
Thank you for writing in. I’m so glad you felt like you could share your pain here. It is a very difficult thing to feel like you’re the only one who really gets what’s going on, especially when it concerns topics as big and heavy as these.
First, I want to take a moment to acknowledge the powerful thing you’re doing here, in case it’s hard for you to see, being in the midst of it. You perceived that there are some very bad and harmful things going on in the world, and you didn’t turn away from the truths you’ve uncovered. It would have been really easy to decide it was too uncomfortable, scary, and lonely to go down that path, to choose to cover your ears and turn a blind eye and go join the rest of your friends and family in comfortable ignorance. But you didn’t, and that is an incredibly commendable thing. Not everyone can do that with information that challenges their worldview. I hope you can recognize the strength and integrity you have within you.
And yes – it can be a lonely path to walk.
I wonder if it could be helpful for you to compartmentalize a bit. Consider your relationships with your friends and family. What things can you connect with them on? What aspects of the relationships are fulfilling? What else can you share with and give to them that doesn’t have to do with discussing the state of the world these days? Try to focus in on what is good between you and these loved ones and appreciate all that is there for you.
Then, find out what outlets are available to you for connecting with others who do share your worldview. I can tell you that there are many, many people out there in the world who think the same way you do. There are some great online groups – like on Telegram, for example – where like-minded people can connect and discuss, get helpful information, and learn more about ways to heal from the pain of the past few years. Maybe connecting with groups like this could help fill your need for feeling understood and part of something bigger that resonates with you.
Even in “normal” times, I would imagine you had some friends with whom you connected more closely on some things, and others you’d probably avoid bringing up those topics with. Though it all feels more magnified now, maybe taking stock of how you can meet your relationship needs among different people and in different ways could be helpful. Recognizing that it doesn’t all have to come from the same place might be liberating, allowing you to enjoy what you do have in each of your relationships.
I hope this is helpful to you!
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I feel like I don’t have any patience for anyone or anything anymore. I have this feeling of being constantly on edge, distracted, kind of nervously on guard. I’m pretty sure it comes from things I hear and read on the news; thoughts and fears about the world circulate through my mind a lot of the time. The worst part of this is how it affects my family. I’m just not present with my children and end up snapping or yelling at them a lot when they’re just doing kid stuff – not really anything wrong. How can I find more peace of mind and patience for the people in my life?
I hear you. I have been through times like this myself, when my overwhelm about something big starts to spill out into everything else in my life. It’s especially easy to let this happen with family, and sometimes you feel like you just can’t reel yourself in and get it under control.
But it’s not really about getting the irritability and snappiness “under control” – just kind of making yourself behave well. You have to deal with the root of the issue within you first.
What I want to ask you is: What do you think you need right now? What does the core of you really need in order to feel more centered and calm? Is it to lay off the news intake for a while? Is it to get more sleep? Spend more time outside, getting more exercise and fresh air? See close friends more often?
Or does it run a bit deeper? Those thoughts and fears rattling around in your mind may need some attention. I always encourage people to write out their fears, getting them out of the mind and onto paper. Simply doing that can extremely helpful, because it helps you to see what you’re dealing with more clearly. You can also take it farther if you want by looking at the fears that come out and asking yourself where they’re coming from, why these thoughts make you feel afraid, and what new thoughts and beliefs you’d like to replace them with. We create our own reality through the thoughts we choose to let live in our minds. Know that you have the power to do this!
As you look to the needs of your inner world, I believe you’ll find it easier to deal with the daily challenges that come up – that more patience and calm will return. If you find a habit or thought that isn’t serving you, that’s just making it harder for you to be the kind of person you want to be, find a way to release or transform it. Give yourself space and time to make sure your needs are being met, and then you will be much more equipped to be there for your family and others in a happy, healthy way.
Wishing you all the best!
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Why do people feel the need to endlessly speculate about what will happen in the coming years? I see it all the time in different online groups I’m part of. I feel like, what is the point? Nobody knows what’s going to happen, just like most of us had no idea the COVID thing was coming before it happened. I know I could probably make a positive contribution to those gloom and doom conversations, but I just feel too disgusted with people sometimes to even bother…
I agree with you about the speculation! Lots of people out there are putting so much of their precious time and energy into worrying about the future, about things we just can’t know at this stage. And worrying about the future takes us out of the present, which is where life is actually happening. Reasonable preparation for the future is a good thing; worrying is something different.
I’m intrigued by your comment about making a positive contribution to those conversations. You absolutely could if you wanted! What could help you create more of a separation within you from the reaction you typically have to the “doom and gloomers” to make way for that positivity to come through? What is it on a deeper level that bothers you about them? Know that you can decide how much their perspective affects you.
What would you choose to share with people if you did join in the conversation? It sounds like you’re someone who understands the importance of living in the present, of not trying to leap ahead and control things that are uncontrollable, and the futility of worry. How could you express those ideas in an impactful way?
To take it a step further, are there other areas in your life where this sort of situation is at play too? Where there are people or ideas that bother you, and instead of engaging positively, you usually choose to walk away in disgust? It might be helpful to notice if this is a wider habit throughout your life. If so, what are those feelings of frustration really about? What would you want to bring to those situations if you could move past your disgust?
There’s a whole world of people full of vastly different ideas, opinions, and ways of expressing them. If we let ourselves be rattled by everything that doesn’t resonate with us, we’re probably going to spend a whole lot of time being rattled! That’s no way to live. I encourage you to find out what it would take for you to let it not disturb you so much, and then if it’s something you care about, to add your perspective to the conversation (and then not to get rattled if others don’t agree!). No one can make you feel anything; your feelings are completely your domain and responsibility.
I hope you find this helpful!
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Help! My sister is driving me crazy!! She is constantly giving me a hard time about the decisions my husband and I are making for our family – from choosing not to give our kids the COVID vaccine to making the move to homeschooling this year. When I try to calmly (“try” being the operative word) explain our reasoning and perspective, she comes back with every reason she can think of that we’re wrong. And she’s my sister – it’s not like I can just ignore her. She’s in my life to stay. What should I do about the constant nagging?
Wow, that really sounds like an uncomfortable situation! I’m sorry to hear that you’re dealing with this. It’s never pleasant to feel someone’s on our back about something, and this sounds pretty relentless.
Let me ask you: What do you really want from your sister in this situation? Is it for her to listen more compassionately to your side of things? Is it for her to give you more respect? Is it for her to completely drop these subjects all together? I wonder if perhaps up until this point, you’ve felt like you just needed to defend your position when talking with her, instead of clearly communicating what it is that you want. How could you express that to her from your heart?
What to do if she still doesn’t get the message? Then you may need to more firmly declare these topics to be off-limits and set up a boundary for yourself. This might look like telling her you’ll have to end the phone call if it goes in that out-of-bounds direction, or take a break from talking for a few days, or something like that. And then you’ll just need to be consistent about enforcing those boundaries if your sister pushes the limits.
It may also be helpful to think about your sister’s relationships with others in your family. Is this nagging behavior a habit for her with others too? If so, you might want to talk with other trusted family members, express your concerns, and ask how they have dealt with her behavior in the past. You all know each other best, so looking within your own family for help may give you a new perspective on what could work best with your sister.
Lastly, I encourage you to take a good look at the way you communicate with others about things going on in their lives, including your sister. Sometimes the things that bother us most about other people are habits that we ourselves struggle with but may not be aware of. If you’re being completely honest, is there anyone in your life who may feel similarly nagged by you? Is there any interpersonal behavior that you would do well to work on changing? It may not be the case, but it’s a good thing to take stock of before going deeper into this conversation with your sister.
I hope you and your sister will come to a place of more peace between you, in a relationship where each of you feels heard, understood, and respected!
Previous columns:
- 'God is a God of justice, right? Where’s my justice?'
- ‘I’ve tried my best to be faithful and live a holy life; now I don’t know what to believe’
- 'Kids gravitate toward honest answers, even when they’re tough answers'
- 'I used to be a pretty positive person, but the world is different now'
- 'Do I have an obligation to say something to my friend who is about to inject her one-year-old?'
- 'How do I respond to wild hatred?'
- ‘All my friends have abandoned me’
- ‘Who am I to build a better world?’
- 'The world does not have to understand or approve of your choices'
- 'I get tired and overwhelmed'
- 'I vacillate between feeling inspired and useless'
- ‘I pity the people creating the lies’
- ‘The anger and hurt feelings are costing you too much’
- ‘People who once treated each other with so much love and kindness are now at odds’
- ‘Struggling with my relationship with God since COVID’
- 'I have lost confidence in our healthcare system, including my own personal doctors'
- 'Can you forgive yourself for the years you couldn’t be there with your daughter?'
- 'My wife is willing to take the sacrifice for her sister and I'm sick to my stomach thinking about it'
- 'I deeply regret taking the vaccine'
- 'Married 39 years and I thought we were on the same page when it came to things that mattered most'
- ‘How do I repair this relationship or accept that I may never see my son again?’
- ‘How can I stop fear from controlling my every thought and ruining my dreams?’
- 'How can I pursue my dream to find the person to marry, when it's so hard to connect with new people because of COVID?'
- 'How can I feel safe these days?'
- Advice column premier: Back to Center
Sarah encourages you to reach out to her with requests for advice! Please send your questions to advice@aflds.org
Sarah Perron is a Certified Transformational Life Coach. Her passion is to help people create a powerful vision for their lives, identify and eliminate anything that holds them back, and step into their own unique greatness and mission in the world. She believes deeply in the power of coaching to bring fresh perspectives, ideas, and motivation to anyone who wants to thrive in life. Sarah works with clients one-on-one and in group coaching programs and presents exciting workshops on self-development topics. You can follow her on her YouTube channel Find Your Fire.
You are invited to book a complimentary coaching call with Sarah! Please visit https://calendly.com/sarahperroncoaching/45min to choose a time that's convenient for you. She looks forward to meeting you!